I am a forty-something introvert who has finally come to terms with being who I am and not longing to be someone else. To be an introvert is often associated with many negative character traits. In a way, the very word introvert is dirty. Something to be avoided, changed...a behavioural flaw.
When I was in university, I was studying Occupational Therapy. Most of our program was focused on problem-based learning and we worked in small groups. At the end of the projects, we would always conclude with constructive feedback. During one particular feedback session, the professor turned to me and said, "your quietness is interpreted by others as indifference and exudes lack of interest". This quite literally knocked the chair out from under me. I was interested. I was involved. I made sure my contribution was flawless and well thought out. The take away from this, for me, was you need to be outspoken, assertive and generally the complete opposite of who you are to succeed. To be reflective, intentional with my words, or a listener....were in her eyes, less than, and viewed as undesirable traits. I held her words close to my heart for many, many years.
I spent many years self-loathing and feeling quite confused about where I fit into the world. I had things to say, opinions and perspectives, I just didn't want to be the centre of attention and avoided it at all costs. At the same time, my thoughts, opinions, and perspectives were not heard. I was forever the shy one. The one who preferred to be alone, or the "homebody". My introversion was equated with shyness, social anxiety and lack....lack of self-esteem, confidence lack, lack lack. I internalized it all. I avoided the spotlight at all costs. I became self-conscious and purposely avoided many social situations.
And then I opened myself up to art, fully and with all of my heart and soul. Art gave me a voice to express my thoughts and ideas in a place that felt safe and almost therapeutic. I realized that I had a lot to say. I just expressed it differently. I was able to express my moods, inner thoughts and feelings quite easily through art. I realized that I wasn't shy or socially anxious, I was focused, diligent and productive. I was creative, reflective and introspective. I did not have a behavioural defect, in reality I just operated differently. Not less than. Just different. Einstein, Bill Gates, JK Rowling, Warren Buffet, Meryl Streep, Dr. Seuss......you guessed it.....all introverts. In fact, introverts have been responsible for some of the greatest achievements in history, as well as some of the most successful business and political leaders in the world. We are not all aloof, awkward, loners, nerdy, shy, unfriendly or withdrawn. Truthfully, anyone can possess any of these qualities at some point, introvert or not. It is not because they are introverts.
I have learned over the almost 50 years of being an introvert, that there is no reason to force myself to become an extrovert. We are not all one thing. We are all individuals. Can you imagine a world where everyone was the exact same? Different is a blessing not a curse. We can accept, and adapt and create our own personalities, regardless of labels. We can be ourselves, and live authentically and successfully in this big world if we stop labeling things as good and bad, as desirable or repulsive, as better than or less than. We all have a place in this world and we all deserve to thrive in it. Let's start by removing labels and encouraging each other to shine their light. The world will be a better place.
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