My mom took her own life when I was just 12 years old. Do you remember what you were like when you were 12? I had a signature haircut, straight in the back and curly on top. Not technically a mullet, but close. And no, you will NEVER see a photo of it. I safety pinned my jeans on the inseam from the knee down, wore Benetton rugby shirts with the collar turned up of course. I listened to music, and recorded the top songs on my boom box, and played and then would rewind them from my cassette player hundreds of times to learn the lyrics to the latest Corey Hart or Howard Jones song. I was so young. But, so was she. She missed out on so much. Her death taught me very early on that life is fragile. Life is short. And dammit, we need to live it to the fullest.
"Every day above ground is a great day, remember that." - Pitbull
To grow old is truly a gift. Think about it. Not everyone grows old. The only alternative to not getting older is being dead. I know....that is very direct and to the point. I try to be grateful every day for the privilege of just being here. Admittedly, I fail more often than I succeed. Life is full of conflict and challenges. It's not perfect. It can be hard at times. Yet, it is equally full of beauty, love, joy, and endless possibility to do and be whatever you want to be regardless of your chronological age. Pitbull says in his song Time of our Lives, that "every day above ground is a great day, remember that". Yes, just because I am considered old statistically speaking (median age is 37.8 yrs), I listen to Pitbull for inspiration ya'll.
The realization that you are getting older comes in waves. In my mind, when I think of myself, I am in my twenties, but then I am faced with reality when I hear more snap, crackle and pop in my joints. We can't reverse time, but we can change how intensely we live every moment moving forward. We can still be childlike in our wonder. Growing, learning, and exploring isn't reserved for the young. We can be playful and silly. In fact, there are plenty of advantages and a certain freedom that comes with age. Freedom from worrying what others think. Freedom to befriend yourself and accept the imperfections, wrinkles and all. It is kind of liberating in a way. Life is short. What do you want to do with your time left?
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