By Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.
Her Side
For those of you who are under 30, you might not even remember a time when people didn’t constantly check their phones for texts, Facebook/Instagram/Twitter profiles, when they’re in someone else’s physical presence. Even talking on the phone has become a lost art for many people these days.
While we’re all in favor of technological advances, sometimes you have to mourn the loss of real communication, the kind that makes you feel good. You know, the kind that doesn’t require an electronic object to deliver your message.
Here are eight great things about face-to-face communication that most people don’t just don’t seem to do anymore thanks to the ever-growing technology of our time.
1. Looking into each other’s eyes.
And no, we’re not talking about looking at someone’s eyes in a selfie on Facebook or Instagram. We’re talking about having their eyes just inches or mere feet away from yours.
When you look into someone’s eyes, it connects the two of you. Sometimes it’s almost like you’re looking deep into their souls. You just can’t get that when someone texts you a photo of themselves. It’s just not the same. [Read: 11 Signs that you are sabotaging your relationship – and how to STOP]
2. Touching someone’s hand.
Body language comprises 80-90% of the real meaning of a message. But using technology to talk doesn’t give you the opportunity to reach out and touch someone (and no, we’re not talking about “Ma Bell” … which most young people probably don’t even know about).
Giving a hug, playfully giving an elbow jab, or touching someone to say, “I care”, is just something that can’t be done over Facebook.
3. Having someone’s full attention.
Nothing says, “you don’t matter to me” as much as being with someone who constantly checks their texts or picks up the phone when they’re with you. Instead, it says, “hold on – this person is more important than you.”
While it may have become the “new normal” to do that, it is still disrespectful. Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? If you want someone to pay attention to you, then you need to do the same – and put your phone away! [Read: Are you a victim of verbal abuse? How to know and what to do about it]
4. Receiving support & understanding.
Imagine sending a good friend of yours a long email asking for advice about something. No matter the content, you can’t help but think, “This would be so much better if I was actually looking at him face-to-face so I could explain it better.”
But because you live far enough apart where it’s not possible to see each other that often, you resort to email. Even the phone would be better than an email response. Sure, you’ll still get that sage advice, but nothing beats the interaction with your live human friend.
5. Growing your mind with deep conversation.
Talking about celebrity gossip and the funny cat video you just saw on Facebook can be fun, but it doesn’t help you become a better person. Talking with someone face-to-face helps you get into some pretty deep conversations.
You can learn about yourself, the other person, or something you never knew before. Have you ever tried to get into a deep conversation over text? Well, not everyone’s fingers work as fast as others’! You could cover a lot more ground and in half the time if you can just have discussions face-to-face. [Read: Social media & relationships – the pros and the cons in the real world]
6. Flirting.
Okay, admit it. How many of you have received texts or emails from someone you’re romantically interested in and thought, “Oh my…what did he/she mean by that?” Then you’re texting your best friend saying, “Okay, he said this .. what did it mean? Does he like me or is he just being nice because he ended his sentence with a smiley face?”
It’s better to see his or her real smiley face in person though. Messages are so often misinterpreted when they aren’t spoken in someone’s physical presence.
7. Sharing your innermost thoughts and emotions.
It’s scary sometimes to pour your heart out. We risk rejection that way. And that’s probably why people “test the waters” with texting, emails, and social media messages. It’s easier to hide behind your phone or computer than it is to look into someone’s eyes and share your feelings.
But it’s so much more rewarding to do that! Getting a text that says, “luv u” isn’t as satisfying as someone hugging you tight and whispering the words, “I love you” into your ear. [Read: The absolute worst communication mistakes you might be making (and don’t even know)]
8. Having someone really “get” you.
The energy that is exchanged with people when they are face-to-face can really lift you up. Talking in person allows you to really dig deep and really get to know each other. And when people know you, they understand you. Even if you have differences, you still can “get” each other because you spent quality time with them…one-on-one…face-to-face.
Sure, today’s technology is exciting and important. But we can remember fondly the days of face-to-face interactions. Maybe you should try “traveling back in time” and re-creating what it was like to live when we all actually talked to each other! You might just like it.
All posts are intended strictly for educational purposes. It is not intended to make any representations or warranties about the outcome of any product/service.
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